I have always considered myself an attachment parent and think overall that style/method of parenting has worked well for Sammy. I also consider myself a common sense type of parent and hope to not be raising the most spoiled kid on the planet. So I do find that is a tough line of grey area.
Often when something goes wrong, my husband is more apt to use a timeout. I am more apt to try to distract and comfort out of the situation. I consider my son not getting what he wants/ getting to continue to act up as the natural consequence and my husband considers the time out the actual consequence. Usually we make this work and have a good understanding. I try to be consistent and positive.
This morning Sammy was in full on I don't want to listen mode. Throwing laundry down the stairs, which at the time seemed pretty horrific. He also didn't want to get dressed and did not want to go to school today. Sammy is so similar to me sometimes. We both need a few minutes in the morning to sit in bed and let our brains catch up to our bodies. We need that down time and relaxed morning to ease into the day. Only a few minutes but they are critical. We were not making good time this morning.
After I corrected him for throwing said clothing down the stairs- he started crying. My stress levels were off of the charts. We're going to be late. Why am I so late... All of the negative crap I poison myself with. He sat on my lap for a second and said he needed a blanket. A few second more he hopped down, wrapped himself in his bamboo blanket and said.. "Mama rock me."
So for a few minutes this morning that all stopped. I got to rock my sweet little (or not so little) three year old boy. I know these moments are fleeting. There are only so many more times in his life I will get to be a comfort to him in that way. It was heaven. He smiled sweetly and I could see the little baby he once was all snuggled up. I know it will be one of the moments I look back on when he is an adult.
In that moment I was so glad I have done things the way I have. That I have chosen physical comfort in times of intense emotions so that he knows that there is a safe place to come to when things are overwhelming.
Often when something goes wrong, my husband is more apt to use a timeout. I am more apt to try to distract and comfort out of the situation. I consider my son not getting what he wants/ getting to continue to act up as the natural consequence and my husband considers the time out the actual consequence. Usually we make this work and have a good understanding. I try to be consistent and positive.
This morning Sammy was in full on I don't want to listen mode. Throwing laundry down the stairs, which at the time seemed pretty horrific. He also didn't want to get dressed and did not want to go to school today. Sammy is so similar to me sometimes. We both need a few minutes in the morning to sit in bed and let our brains catch up to our bodies. We need that down time and relaxed morning to ease into the day. Only a few minutes but they are critical. We were not making good time this morning.
After I corrected him for throwing said clothing down the stairs- he started crying. My stress levels were off of the charts. We're going to be late. Why am I so late... All of the negative crap I poison myself with. He sat on my lap for a second and said he needed a blanket. A few second more he hopped down, wrapped himself in his bamboo blanket and said.. "Mama rock me."
So for a few minutes this morning that all stopped. I got to rock my sweet little (or not so little) three year old boy. I know these moments are fleeting. There are only so many more times in his life I will get to be a comfort to him in that way. It was heaven. He smiled sweetly and I could see the little baby he once was all snuggled up. I know it will be one of the moments I look back on when he is an adult.
In that moment I was so glad I have done things the way I have. That I have chosen physical comfort in times of intense emotions so that he knows that there is a safe place to come to when things are overwhelming.
