Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Reflections of a Cloth Diapering Mama

Well. The end is here. Sammy is potty learning and we're officially not using diapers during the day anymore. He only wears a overnight diaper at night and one during naptime.

We stopped being able to use cloth about six months ago for nighttime. He was just too much of a heavy wetter to use his prefolds or fitted diapers and covers. The disposable just made more sense. I could not really see buying an entire stash of overnight things for what was really going to be a few more months of this time in our lives.

Now that he uses two diapers a day- using a cloth diaper during naptime would be a gigantic waste of water. You need a full load of diapers to make the water worthwhile and it would just be not cost effective or a good use of natural resources or our family resources.  And often he wears his big boy undies and we only have the overnight diaper.

I am kinda sad really. Truly. My baby no longer wears diapers during the day. He is growing and this is not something he needs from me anymore. It was kind of the last thing that connected us to the baby time in his life. I feel so blessed to be his mother and seeing him grow is that constant reminder in my eyes that these days are always limited. I know that God prepares us for every season in our lives- but this has been the hardest for me- to see him need me less and less.

The other part of me is really glad that he has started this and I will not be cleaning up poopy diapers and really nasty cloth diapers that have sat in a bag all day at daycare. That part of me is doing cartwheels. There will be less laundry- less water used, and less detergent used on this. Our resources grow a bit. My time grows- I won't need to stuff cloth diapers or hang them to dry.

Cloth Diapering was something I set out upon over three years ago and wasn't sure how I would make it work. Lots of people felt I would fail and I am so proud that I really kept this going so long. I sure used some disposable diapers, but overall I have saved my family so much money. I have an entire stash of diapers to use for our next child whenever God graces us with their presence and I feel honored to have saved some valuable resources.

It taught me about making it work. It was pretty easy to accomplish and worked out well. But there were times I really didn't want to wash dirty diapers. I didn't want to stay up to get them rinsed. But Sammy needed diapers and that was just my job. It also taught me a bit about other moms. That sometimes what you do and feel passionate about, can really make them feel inferior. That was tough at times because I was proud that we were making this work but didn't want to make other moms feel like their choices weren't up to par because that is not the case. I truly believe that a lot of mothering is about facts vs truths and our  truth was that this worked for us, but a lot of other mothers have a whole host of other things to consider and disposables are the best option.

Cleaning poop off of a diaper is humbling. It is humbling when you get it all over your hands. Or under  your nail. It was just a lesson in me serving my family and sometimes that choice is hard. But you wash your hands and put a smile on your face and get the next diaper in the wash. It has been one of the things that has made me the mother I am now.

I am grateful for a husband that was also passionate about making this work. A family that thought that I was making the best decision for Sammy- and for people who felt differently that pretty much kept it to themselves. I am coming to potty learning with a big victory and as mother's we all need those from time to time.


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